Advice, humor and more!

The Safest Cars You Can Buy

Generally speaking, when it comes to buying a safe car, bigger is better. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), these are the seven safest vehicles on the road today:

• Ford F-150

• Chevrolet Impala

• Honda Accord

• Lincoln LS

• Lincoln Town Car

• Volkswagen Passat

• Volvo S80

Disclaimer: These NHTSA ratings are the result of crash test experiments that took place under carefully controlled, laboratory-type conditions. Individual results you realize on actual roads in the presence of idiot drivers may vary.

The September Bandwagon

In case you’ve got nothing else to do this month, there’s a bunch of causes that would love your participation. We list 30 so you can devote one full day to each (if the post office is slow this month, you might have to cut back to 21 hours each). September is National …

• Cholesterol Education Month

• Children’s Eye Health and Safety Month

• Library Card Sign-up Month

• Piano Month

• Food Safety Education Month

• Prostate Health Month

• Organic Harvest Month

• Sickle Cell Awareness Month

• Baby Safety Month

• Honey Month

• Childhood Cancer Month

• Sewing Month

• Nutrition Month

• Hispanic Heritage Month

• Rice Month

• Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month

• Muscular Dystrophy Awareness Month

• Coupon Month

• Ovarian Cancer Month

• Literacy Month

• Disability Awareness Month

• Reye’s Syndrome Month

• Healthy Aging Month

• Leukemia Month

• Pediculosis Prevention Month

• Native American Wellbriety Month

• Ulcer Awareness Month

• Childhood Injury Prevention Month

• Farm Animal Awareness Month

• Lice Prevention Month

That should keep you busy and out of trouble — until October.

Look At It This Way …

Think a gallon of gasoline is expensive these days? Faithful Portfolio reader and all-around good guy Tony DeLorenzo offers a little perspective on the subject:

• 20-ounce Gatorade @ $1.59 = $10.17/gal.

• 16-ounce Diet Snapple @ $1.29 = $10.32/gal.

• Pint of milk @ $1.59 = $12.72/gal.

• 9-ounce Evian water @ $1.49 = $21.19/gal.

• 0.7-ounce Whiteout @ $1.39 = $25.42/gal.

• 12-ounce STP brake fluid @ $3.15 = $33.60/gal.

• 1.5-ounce Scope @ $0.99 = $84.48/gal.

• 4-ounce Pepto Bismol @ $3.85 = $123.20/gal.

• 6-ounce Nyquil @ $8.35 = $178.13/gal.

So next time you’re grumbling at the pump, just be glad your car doesn’t run on Gatorade or Nyquil.